If you want to succeed beyond your own wildest dreams, you have to excel at failing.
Hey there, hi there, ho there Team!
We’re more than a month deep into 2024 & if you’re anything like me you’re still writing 2023 as the year on documents while being wildly, acutely aware that 2025 is barreling towards us at speed.
Last night I fell asleep in a California King bed (warm blankets, six pillows, fully robe, & beautiful linen sheets - yeow, heaven) in squally, stormy Southern California after staying up to watch the Grammy’s.
If you know me, you know I’m not a fan of awards shows (for any industry). For the most part, once you know how they work you know they’re rigged. They’re for the privileged. The few. And, sometimes for the lucky. But mostly they’re a bit self-congratulatory in an uncomfortable way.
They’re kinda like saying “LOOK AT THIS! THIS IS HOW YOU WIN AT ART/ BUSINESS/ LIFE/ NOT SUCKING” & really we know there’s a mathematical equation to winning that is built up of the number of people who think you’re worthy.
Social clout decides who’s in & who’s out.
That said… OOOOOOOOOF… I love the Grammy’s.
Yes, we are all balls of beautiful dichotomy.
Don’t @ me, bro.
Anywhoozle, why do I love the Grammy’s? Welp, mostly because I get to see my friends live out their dreams in real time.
And, from the time I was little there was just a magic to musicians who REALLY climbed the ladder while staying true to themselves win the approval of their peers & the public.
Also: GLITTER, GLIMMER, SHIMMER & LIVE PERFORMANCES!
I digress.
Last night’s Grammy Awards were special. Tracy Chapman got her flowers for “Fast Car” 36 years after writing & recording one of the most definitive songs in the history of history. Allison Russel & Brandy Clark won for truly artful music. So too did Miley. So too did a pure grip of talented & deserving humans.
Young & experienced artists alike were lauded. Loudly. Gently. Passionately. And, the show ended with Billy Joel singing a fiery version of “You May Be Right (I May Be Crazy).”
What I took from the night, other than the fact that my predilection for solo travel is to dance in my room & sing out loud while sippin’ Diet Dr Pepper & building out budgeting spreadsheets with beautiful pivot charts, is that most of the winners in life have been losers.
Which is maybe why I tend to hang out with the rag-tag. The rough crew. The quirky & artsy. The talented outsiders who become the knowing insiders. The weirdos. The change-makers. The doers.
I know for certain that the people who are the kindest & most compassionate have learned to swim in the deep end. Our creative masters have learned to surf into shore time & time & time again on waves that often feel like a tug back out to sea.
Learning, learning, learning each time they ride a different swell, only to paddle back out from the shallows of comfort into the swirling waters of courage & curiosity is how experts become.
As for me, one month deep into 2024, I can tell you I’m currently on a steady shore after getting caught up in one helluva riptide-tempest that set me adrift last year. In moments of calm, I thought I had soft & steady sand underfoot. I thought there were hearts to hold mine beating in place. But really I was just in the eye of a storm.
And yikes, once the eye passes. It’s sink. Then swim!
The storm that swirled within me was a big ‘un. It was (& still is) a storm of change, breaking, trust, promises broken, loss, grief, anger, sadness, joyfulness, gratitude, growth, & learning to be alone.
What I’ve learned since diving deep (& now coming up for air) is this: we all have to get sh*t wrong to get it right.
And, to be super clear, “right” is a moving feast.
We have to be wrong A LOT to get things right.
Somedays what I aim to achieve are more than what I think I’m able to. Other days I sit still & learn that distraction causes more speed wobbles than sure steps forward.
Every day I learn to follow my heart.
To take the next best step.
To lean in to LOVE.
To work in a mindset of growth & knowing that there’s no such thing as failure. Only lessons. Messing up? Yep. I’m an expert.
All of us who seek out happier moments, deeper connections, lasting love (in friendship, romance, etc), & more meaningful art have to f*ck around to f*nd out.
And, I love finding out!
Here’s a little list of the moments I found myself getting sh*t wrong. And yep, they sure feel right.
Thought I was pretty far along with my own spiritual evolution, wrong
Thought I could help myself in the same way I help others, wrong
That I knew just how hard starting over was going to be, wrong
Thought I knew how to be gentle & kind & empathetic with myself, wrong
Thought I knew how to find glimmer of joy & hope & optimism in every single day, wrong
Thought I knew what I wanted to do for work, wrong
Thought I had a good idea of what good ideas were, wrong
Thought I knew what trust looked like, wrong
Thought love couldn’t hurt me, wrong
Thought I couldn’t hurt anyone else, wrong
It took looking at what I got wrong to truly be thankful for the things that are going right. Life feels like it’s falling into place. They’re flowing. And, I love a good flow.
Surely I’ll be paddling back out into the deep ocean to discover more, soon. But, for now life is a paddling pool. I like paddling.
Go on, fail.
Learn.
Grow.
Today’s mantra:
What if it all works out?
(spoiler: it will)
Grrrll...you been readin' my mail?? You sure did hit all the high spots (as well as the lows)--I love that you empty yourself out for the likes of me to witness. Transparent. Authentic. You're the Real Deal.
May the flow be with you :)